Well, now that the kids are finally in bed I can type to my heart's content. It's been one crazy week here at our house. I have pretty much been in Halloween costume Pergatory. I took that sewing class so that I could finish Audrey's costume. I learned a lot in the class, but now I think I know just enough to be dangerous. The class ended on Monday night, so this week I have been slaving away over the machine trying to make sense of the pattern and the fabric. Just for the record, I do not recommend working with fleece as a beginning project. I'm lucky the silly dress fits her! I just completed everything this evening and then had to bake cookies for the pre-school Halloween party. Audrey didn't sign me up to bring juice boxes or Cheetos or something. She signed me up for the home-baked cookies. Thanks a lot! Anyway, back to the sewing. Tuesday I was so frustrated because my hand-me-down sewing machine that is an ancient relic kept seizing up on me. Every 15 minutes I would have to stop and untangle everything and re-thread it all. (I'm sure it's all the machine's fault and nothing to do with the operator). Vince and I were trying to talk about Christmas gifts for the girls and he happened to ask what I wanted at a moment when I was cussing my machine. So, the next night we went out and I got a new sewing machine. Yay! Except I feel bad because I really don't use it all that often. Oh, well. It's not like I picked the $300 one. Maybe I'll just have to use it more often, especially now that I have this pattern figured out. I can make some dresses for the girls.

So, not much else has been going on in our lives recently. Vince has been working a lot and the kids and I have been going to the YMCA a lot. I think I'm over that hump where I hate to exercise. Now I look forward to the classes. Except for the one day when we did 200 squats. Yes, you read that right-200! If I ever walk in and she has those little tiny weights and a squirrely gleam in her eyes, I'm outta there! That sucked. But I was so proud because I was one of the only ones to do them all without stopping and I kept my weight on my shoulders the whole time. I was so happy I treated myself to some ice cream afterward. You see why I need to exercise more? I have also been going to a class called boot camp. It's on Saturday mornings and it's filled with mostly older folks who can kick my ass! I'm always the last one finished. But at least I finish. We basically do cardio to get our hearts going and then go do some strength training and then repeat. I come out of there like a wet noodle! And I'm still going to spinning. It's getting easier. Not that it's easy, but at least I can now participate a little easier and not just sit there trying to keep pedaling. Like you all care about my workout routine, right?

Katie is talking way more lately. She's still a little hard to understand sometimes. We still rely on Audrey to translate. The past couple of weeks, she has been saying two funny things. When you ask her a yes-or-no question, sometimes she'll say, "Yes, but no." or "No, but yes." Huh? What the heck? I have to keep asking her until she gives me a straight answer. Then she also will say, just out of the blue, "Mom, I don't love you right now." Uh, thanks. She's still smothering Sam all the time. I have to tell her constantly to get out of his face or to get off of him. She will lay down on top of him to love on him and he's under there grunting just trying to catch his breath. Poor thing. She LOVES her brother. She always tells him he's "da bess baby in da woowd." (best baby in the world for those of you that don't speak toddler) or that he's "da cutest baby evuh." (spoken in a shrill, mommy-esque voice) She always wants to hold him or carry him or kiss him. I really have to watch her.

Audrey is still her precocious little self. I swear she's a smart little toot. Today we had edamame at lunch and sometimes when the girls are trying to get the beans out of the pods, they shoot out. We always laugh about it because those little suckers can really go far! When Vince got home, he asked Audrey what we did today and she told him that we had a bean toss. I didn't understand at first, but then I realized she was making a joke about the edamame squirting out. It was cute. Maybe you had to be there. On a side note, it wasn't until recently that I realized they liked edamame. I made a big deal about how fun it was to squirt the beans into your mouth and they loved it. We eat them all the time now. I can't get enough. Katie will eat all hers and then ask for more before she eats anything else on her plate. They are so good and good for you!

Audrey is really liking school and I think she's doing well too. She LOVES her teacher, Miss Holli. And I think she's thriving there. Miss Holli seems to enjoy having Audrey in her class and Audrey is coming home with all kinds of neat stuff and seems to be learning a lot. Everything right now is about letters. They do a new letter every week. This week was H for Halloween. So, when she picks up a toy or sees a picture of something, she'll say, "Does this start with the letter H?" and make the H sound. She tries to sound it out herself. It's neat to see her starting to put it all together.

Sam is starting to eat more solids. I tried to give him rice cereal, but he just hated it and would refuse to eat it. So, the doctor told me to just try some vegetables and see if he likes those better. He's had carrots, peas, sweet potato, and pears. He likes them all and is starting to get into it more. He opens his mouth really wide when he sees the spoon coming at him. This afternoon, I nursed him and he was still acting hungry, so I gave him half a jar of peas. He was still hungry after that and ate a whole jar of pears too. He definitely has a hearty appetite. The doctor also told us that we should be better about making him sleep through the night. He was still up nursing 3 times a night and the Doc said that it's just a habit and not because he's truly hungry. So we let him cry it out for a couple nights. Now, he just eats around 10:30 or so and then sleeps until 4:30, which is way better than his old schedule. That was a rough couple of nights for us. Well, it was for me and him. Vince snored through the whole thing! The man can sleep through anything. I don't know what our poor kids would do if they had to rely on Daddy for anything at night. I tell him all the time that he's lucky I'm around to do everything. If I was gone, he would be in serious trouble! Dishes would be rotting in the sink, everyone would be sick to death of eating goulash for every meal, there would be no toilet paper anywhere near the toilet-roll hangers, and the only person with clean clothes would be Vince. I swear. I could go on, but I won't. I love him, but sometimes...

It's been a long week and I've been up late every night, so I'm hitting the hay. Right after I switch the laundry around, do a load of dishes, feed the baby, let the dogs out, pick up the living room, wash my face, check on the children and make sure the alarm is set and the doors are locked. Until next time.

Night time prayers

So, my girls always say a prayer before bed. Katie is just now wanting to participate. For a long time, she would just listen and not add anything. Audrey gets very creative and has been known to pray for EVERYTHING! Here's an example from last night: "Thank you God for this beautiful day and for letting me spend time with my family. And thank you for my Daddy 'cause he's handsome, and thank you for keeping him safe at work and for helping him get the bad guys and find the horses (another story) and thank you too for all the beautiful flowers, and..." at this point Katie interrupts the prayer with a hearty rendition of the world's funniest song made up by a 2 yr. old that goes, "Shake your booty, doodie." (insert maniacal 2 yr. old laughter here) Audrey, who is very upset that she has been interrupted, has to start all over at the beginning of her prayer. Mommy is patiently waiting with her eyes closed and trying to ignore Katie's singing. So, start again, also pray for the park that we played at, for all the horses and puppies and kitties in the world and God Bless Grandma, Grandpa, Nana and Papa, and for her school...Katie once again interjects with "Shake your booty, doodie". (more laughter). Audrey starts over again. Mommy fights the urge to scream, "Hurry UP!" More prayers for the grass and the trees and flowers and rainbows and her teacher (anyone else notice who is missing from this prayer? Mommy?) and the good cookies she had and thank you for her bike and her birthday and her helmet...Mommy is clearing her throat in a clear effort to move this along a little while Katie is whispering "Shake your booty, doodie." FINALLY Audrey says Amen. Katie has something to say too. "Dear God, shake your booty, doodie. Amen" Mommy has to leave the room before bursting into laughter.

Do you see why I'm going insane?

My baby is 5!

I can't believe she's 5. I say this every year on her birthday. It's just amazing to me that I have had kids for 5 years now. She was hilarious. It's been very cold here this weekend. We got some snow Friday night and then Saturday morning it was in the low 30's. She was supposed to have a soccer game that morning so we bundled her up and Vince took her with the agreement that I would bring her present in from the garage and cover it up in the living room so that when she got home it would be ready. Her coach called about 15 minutes after Vince and Audrey left to say that the game had been canceled, so they came home. When she walked in, she saw this big lump in the living room covered with a blanket. She just started grinning! She thought it was a bunch of balls, but when she pulled the blanket off, she saw her new bike! It even has a basket, handlebar streamers and a bell. She went bonkers! We had to take it for a spin around the block, so off we set--me in my shorts and flip-flops--for her first ride. She was so cute. Ringing her bell and pointing out any other kids bikes along the way and saying that hers was prettier. It was REALLY cold, so by the time we got home we had some hot chocolate and just parked the bike where she could sit on it inside. To say that she loves this bike is an understatement. We went out and got her a helmet and knee and elbow pads, courtesy of Nana and Papa. She picked out the pink Barbie one of course. Sometimes she's such a girl! She rode her bike to school today. OMG! She was sooo funny. Ringing her bell when she would see her classmates and putting on a show for everyone. They had no school Monday for Native American Day so she was really excited to get to school today. As soon as she got up she was asking if it was time to go. She said that the morning class lasts too long. There's a girl at Audrey's school that is a handful. Audrey says that this girl can't be her friend until she starts behaving at school. She got in the car the other day after school and announced that she told this girl that if she wanted to be her friend she needed to be nicer in school, and at the end of the day this girl had been nice enough to be put back on the list of friends. Audrey said she straightened her out! Little Queen Bee. She is 5 going on 15 I swear. She keeps telling us that she is a big girl now. We had a talk about Bratz dolls and I told her they were too mature and for big girls. She explained in a very exasperated voice that she WAS a big girl. Like, HELLLOO!

Katie has a new thing that she says. When I call her one of her pet names, like "Katie Bear" or "Sugar Booger" she corrects me and says, "No. I'm Daddy's Katie Bear or Daddy's Sugar Booger." She really loves her Daddy. Sometimes it's so frustrating because I'm the one who is here doing everything for them and he gets all the glory. I will just have to wait until they are grown and have kids of their own to be appreciated. I know that's when I realized how much my mother did for me growing up. One of the girls made a mess last night and I told Audrey to get a napkin and clean it up to which she replied, "Why should I have to do it? You're the cleaner around here." I guess I know where I stand now.

Vince and I have really been enjoying the YMCA here. I have still been going to the Body Sculpt class (except today since Katie slept until 9:30) and have added the spinning class. I don't know how many of you have ever tried spinning, but it really isn't for the faint of heart! The first time I really had a hard time. It was all I could do to just keep pedaling. I wanted to quit, but I didn't. The instructor is very nice and was really supportive so I'll try it a few more times to see if it gets any better. My rear really was sore, not for lack of cushion, but probably just because I sat more than I was supposed to. They do a lot of standing while pedaling. They do. Not we do. Sorry, Dad. I may not have picked up the bike gene. He just got through riding over 300 miles in 2 days. He's nuts! Well, I should go for now. I just looked up the Y schedule and they have a Body Sculpt class tonight too. Yay!! Vince is going to watch the kids so I can go.

Oh, and watch out Martha Stewart. I made a pillowcase at sewing class the other night. It was fun. All the women in there are beginners and it's really funny to see us all trying to sew squares. We are all a little intimidated by the machines. Until next time...

Lobotomy

I swear, this has not been my week and it's only Wednesday. I wonder how many more clueless moments I can have. Sunday, I noticed that the fridge was not very cool but thought nothing of it. Monday late afternoon, Audrey went to get a popsicle out of the freezer and it wasn't frozen at all. So, I looked at the stuff in there and a lot of it was starting to thaw. Crap. I checked to make sure it was plugged in. I flipped the breaker just to make sure it hadn't popped. Nothing. So I called Sears, where we bought the thing 2 short years ago. They can't send anyone until Friday. I called some other places in the phone book, but everyone was already gone for the day. I decided that the stuff in the fridge would probably be okay for another night, but the frozen stuff would have to go out to the garage in the box freezer. I gathered everything up into bags and carry it out there only to realize that the big freezer has been unplugged for who knows how long. Everything in it was rotten. Stunk to high heaven. Great. So I get that cleaned out and all the stuff thrown out, including the things that had thawed and would not be able to be re-frozen from the little freezer. The next day I had a guy come out in the afternoon to fix my fridge. He comes in, I tell him that we have had a problem with the fan seizing once before and he says that it probably seized again. Then he opens the door and goes, "Oh, here's your problem. It's turned off." Now, how stupid do I feel? I didn't even know that you could turn it off. I knew you could adjust the temperature, but to turn it all the way off? Who turns their refrigerator off? Why not just unplug it if you're not going to use it? DUH! So, he turned it back on for me and waited to make sure that it was going to work fine. Then he charged me $45. He did take $20 off the regular price since he didn't have to actually do anything. I figure one of the kids was messing with the controls. I showed it to them and threatened them to within an inch of their lives not to even look at it again. So, I'm out $45 plus all the food I had to throw out, which was quite a bit of stuff. As if I didn't feel stupid enough, we met some friends at the park today and as I was getting our junk out and holding kids and juggling lunch I locked my keys in the car. UGH!!!! It was in the 50's. I had already gotten the kid's coats out, but mine was locked in there, along with my phone, the drinks and Sam's socks in the diaper bag. So, I borrowed Heidi's (Audrey thinks her name is Tiny) phone to call State Farm and get a locksmith out to open the darn thing. I about froze to death by the time he came. Another $45 later and I was a happy (and warm) woman. State Farm will reimburse me for the locksmith, but can they also pay for my lobotomy?

This morning I went back to Body Torture class. This time we worked our arms, abs, gluts, and chest. And we did some inner and outer thigh stuff. The inner thigh was hilarious. She had us put one of those big exercise balls between our knees while we were laying on our back and then we squeezed it while we were doing crunches. Except they were laughing at me because I was wearing pants and when I would try to squeeze the ball, it would squirt out and go flying. She told me maybe I should wear shorts next time. I told her if she would bring the blindfolds, I would bring on the shorts. And Sam! I tell ya, that kid can eat! I nursed him before we left, at around 8:45 that morning. In the hour that he was in the nursery, he had 2 bottles. Then we went directly to the park for our lunch playdate and he nursed again. So, in the course of 3 hours, he ate 4 times. He definitely is related to me. I'm not looking forward to my grocery bills when he gets older. Between me, Vince, and Bruiser, we will have to take out a second mortgage just to eat.

Wish me luck that I have no more blonde moments this week. I can't afford it!

Audrey-isms

I swear kids say the funniest things and it's usually a real saying that they've just misunderstood or misinterpreted. Today she told me, "Mom--heads, butts." It took me a few times of her saying this before I realized she was meaning to say "heads-up". LOL! I told her what the real saying was and she didn't believe me. I'm already ancient enough to my children to not know what I'm talking about. I thought I had a few years yet before that kicked in. Also, the other day after church she walked to the car and said "What a glorious day!" What time period are we in? The Victorian Era? The day before that after the soccer game the coach gave the players all trophies with their names on them. Audrey declared, "My first trophy. See how it shines." What a hoot!

Busy week

When we first moved here, I had quite a few pity parties for myself because we didn't know anyone and I was lonely, missing my friends from Arkansas. Now I'm trying to find the time to slow down! Be careful what you wish for, right? We have been running and running it seems. I haven't needed a planner since I started my gig as full-time mom. Or maybe I needed one, but just didn't carry one! Now, my phone is my lifeline. I swear if I didn't have that calendar that bings at me to remind me of things I would never make it anywhere! Poor Sam is the one that suffers for our schedule. He'll be peacefully taking a nap in his bed and be roused by me because I have to pick up Audrey from pre-school or run to the store or whatever. I hate that he never seems to get a full nap in all at once, but only catches his sleep in snitches here and there. He may just have to learn to adapt.

Sam sure is a great kid regardless of all our scheduling issues. He's usually just so happy and easy to be with. I am so in love! Except for this morning. I taught Joy School this morning. I think I told you all about that. It's kind of a co-op pre-school that Audrey is doing with some kids that we have met. We do this on Monday mornings from 9-11:30. Actually I would have had it easy if Sam hadn't been extremely fussy this morning. I decided to have school at the USFS office where Vince works (except he's in Arkansas for court). One of the ladies there did a wildlife program for us and then Smokey Bear came to visit. Once the kids saw Smokey, it was all over for anyone else. They only had eyes for the bear! Audrey told all of them, "My dad works with Smokey!" The kids were duly impressed. So, I really didn't have to do that much work, but Sam cried almost the whole time. I couldn't just let him scream because there were people working in all the offices around the conference room where we were based. I'm sure some of those kids got an eyeful of booby because Sam wasn't happy with the bottle and as much as I tried to be discreet with a blanket over me, it's hard to walk around and teach 7 five year olds while holding an 18 pound kid in one arm who is wiggling and doing his best to dislodge said blanket. I may have to have a chat with some of the other moms!

Katie was excited that she got to stay for Joy School today. Usually, she just goes with me to drop Audrey off. She wants so badly to be able to do some of the things that her sister does. When she found out that she got to stay, her eyes lit up and she started yelling, "Yay!!" She's so frickin' cute sometimes I just want to eat her up! I wish that she could stay this age. Except be potty-trained and not so sassy. Oh, and able to do more stuff for herself. I guess I don't want her to stay this age! She cut her own hair the other day. I walked away for 2 seconds--2 seconds! That was all she needed. Luckily, she was very random and doesn't yet have a good feel for how to hold the scissors at the right angle for maximum hair-cutting efficiency. She did manage to get a couple chunks pretty short, but if her hair is down, they kinda blend. She won't be wearing any ponytails for a while! Geez. I say parenting is kinda like being a prison guard. You can't show weakness and you have to keep your eyes on them EVERY second or they will turn on you.

Vince is trying to brainwash my children. Sunday is football day at our house. Okay, it's church AND football day at our house. Last week the Redskins played the Cowboys, which--FYI-- is a huge rivalry for all you non-football fans. Vince is a die-hard Redskins fan and I love the Cowboys. We wore our football jerseys to church. Don't screw up your face like that! Our church is casual and fun. We were quite a hit and apparently started a trend since I saw some other people wearing jerseys this week. Anyway, his silly team beat my team. Who cares, we still rule! So, now he has his girls chanting, "Redskins, Redskins, Redskins!" Katie this morning saw a commercial that showed the Redskins and she started yelling, "Go, Raay-kins!" The things I put up with around here! Also, I had to get onto her the other day and it really upset her. She was crying and said in her little hitching voice, "I want my Daddy." She tells him he's the "bess" and that Mommy is just "the same". I'm not sure what that means, but she says it in a derogatory way. I tell ya, he really has them snowed. Just wait and see who's the best when they are teenagers and Daddy won't want to let them out of the house wearing anything less than a full suit of armor and flanked by big, fully armed bodyguards--if he lets them out at all! At least I have Sam in my corner for now. I have a feeling that as soon as he is a little less pre-occupied with boobs (oh, wait--he's Vince's son. Never mind.) he may be more persuadable.

So, I haven't been back to the YMCA yet, except to take the girls swimming. I was still feeling pretty hinky when I got up Friday morning. Couldn't make the spinning class-darn. This morning I was in Joy School, so couldn't make the Body Torture class either. I'm still a little sore today too, but at least I can sit and stand without the aid of a winch. I'm gonna try to go on Wednesday. I think I may have hurt myself. Not from the class, but from the after-effects. I was so sore that I would clench and tense up when I had to sit down or anything. I think that by doing that I injured myself. I'll just have to wait and see if it's just soreness or a real problem.

Well, I think this is long enough for now. Much love from the frozen tundra!

OWWWWW!

I'm broken and bruised but alive. There are some moments when I wish I was dead. I don't think there is a muscle in my body that does not ache. I lost count of how many squats we did when I started to see spots. On top of that I started feeling horrible yesterday too. I thought I just pushed myself too hard at the class. Nope, I have some sort of stomach bug. Yeah!! So on top of waddling around like I'm 12 months pregnant, I get to deal with feeling like poo. The instructor said I did well for my first go and that she wanted to see me at spinning class Friday morning. I think my maniacal laughter may have hurt her feelings.

To top all that off, Sam had the absolute worst diaper blowout I have ever seen. I was sitting on the couch with him on my lap and I heard him fill his diaper. I waited to see if he had finished when I looked down and noticed poop all over his feet. I picked him up and realized that most of the poo had run out of the diaper and between my legs so that I was sitting in a giant mess. I didn't even know where to start! By the time we were through, I had poop literally from my hands to my feet, on my couch and carpet, all over Sam and very little in the diaper. I decided to just throw him in the bath. Well, of course he has outgrown his baby tub already, so I have to bathe him in the big tub and lean over the side. Which means that I have to kneel. Not so easy with these sore legs today.

Speaking of outgrowing things, I had to switch Sam from his infant seat to a bigger seat. He still has to face backwards for another 8 months, but at least I won't have to try to haul around an almost 18 pound kid sitting in a 10 pound seat. He weighs more than Katie with all that! Even my strapping husband was starting to complain. The poor girls got pushed to the back seat since I can't fit all 3 of them in the middle. Katie was delighted. Audrey was less than enthusiastic. I think that was mainly because it wasn't her idea. She likes to be in charge. But she'll get over it. Anyway, I'm gonna hobble over to Sam since he's decided he wants to eat AGAIN! I'll let you know if I make to spinning class. LOL!

If I make it through this day...

This time I'm not saying "If I make it through this day" because of my children! Wow. I've signed up at our local YMCA and let some of the other mommies talk me into doing a class called body sculpt. I do have to note that these other mommies are much more in shape than I am. (That's not really saying much at this point). One lady said that on Monday they did 145 squats. My mind can't even process that many squats. That's like saying a billion dollars. It's too much to fathom! My husband is so excited that I have finally joined in any type of exercise. He has reminded me many times last night and this morning. So. If I make it through this day alive, maybe I'll go back to the class on Monday. Maybe I'll be able to lift my arms high enough to reach the keyboard-how about that? Let's take this really slowly!

This YMCA also has racquetball courts, but since I haven't played since Audrey was born--5 years and 50 pounds ago--I will probably avoid those for a while. I don't want to totally embarrass myself. I know that hasn't seemed to stop me in the past. Maybe I'm getting more self-conscious in my old age.

I am taking a beginning sewing class soon. I have been able to use my machine for a few very simple things like a blanket for Katie, but recently I have been wanting to make more things. I bought a dress pattern and material so I could make Audrey's Halloween costume. I opened the "Sew Simple" pattern and realized I didn't remember as much as I thought I did from high school home ec class. I'm sure some quite handy people could whip this out with their eyes closed, but I realized that in order not to mess up the pattern or the material, I'd better call for backup. Since Rachel, my friend who is THE go-to handy mom, doesn't live a mile away anymore I signed up for this class. Should be fun. I'm really excited. Never thought I would say that! More excited to sew than to do 145 squats, that's for damn sure.

Well, I need to get my rear in gear and get ready (ha!) for my body torture class. Wish me luck and a cold beer please!