Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Summer rocks!

Hey guys,

I have some free time on my hands this summer because *drum roll* THE KIDS ARE AT GRANDMA'S HOUSE!! Woot! They were gone for 3 weeks at the beginning of summer and then came home for 10 days. Now they are back in OK for a couple of weeks before coming back to get ready for school to start. First of all let me say that I miss my kids immensly when they are gone. It's too quiet at my house. (I can't say that the house is any cleaner though.) But, Vince and I have really been enjoying our kid-free time soooo much. We haven't ever been away from our kids this long, so it's a little weird trying to figure out how to spend our time. I can say that we do still like each other! Here's a peek at what's been happening-not that kind of peek, you pervs!

At the end of May/start of June, Vince's entire family rented a beach house in Galveston, TX for a week. What a blast! It was the best vacation. Just the right amount of relaxation mixed with seeing the sights and spending time with family. I do have pictures, but not on this computer, so I can't upload them just yet. We played at the beach a lot, we shopped, we ate and ate and ate, we went to Moody Gardens and saw the aquarium (cool!) and the rainforest (meh.) pyramids, we went to the Pleasure Pier and rode ALL the rides, we napped, we rode the motorcycles, we house-hunted for our dream beach house that we quite obviously cannot make a reality, we went deep sea fishing, we grilled up some shark steaks and red drum that we caught, we went for runs on the beach...you get the idea. The kids had a blast too. I love seeing my kids so happy and worry-free. By the time we were heading back, we were all brown as berries and making plans for the next beach vacation. We spent the night at my parent's house and then took off the next day, leaving the kids with Nana and PaPa. Then, the next weekend, my parents met Vince's in Oklahoma City and left the kids with Grandma and Grandpa. They did have some home-sickness going on at first, but the grandparents try their hardest to wear them out, so they ended up being alright. Plus we have Skype and Facetime, so what's to miss?

Then the kids came home (they brought Grandma with them) for a couple of weeks. It was nice to have all the action again. Man, are they loud! We packed in some fun activities before they were back on the road to OK like movies, Casa Bonita, and the Renaissance Festival. The next time they are back in Colorado, we will have to slow them down a bit and get them back into the school routine. Summer seems so short, doesn't it? But for now, they are back to bugging Grandpa and wearing out Grandma for a couple of weeks and Vince and I are back to staring at each other wondering how it got so quiet. Did I mention my kids are loud? I love those loud little boogers. Turns out, absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Oh, Facebook.

You all know how much I love Facebook, right? My husband complains that I'm ALWAYS on my phone. Usually I'm deeply entrenched in Facebook just in case I miss what everyone had for dinner or what the weather was like 20 miles from me. The truth is, I'm just really, really, really nosy. I can't help it. I like to know what other people are doing, no matter how banal it is. And we all have THOSE friends on Facebook. You know the ones. They are so annoying, but you can't bring yourself to delete them because they are fun to roll your eyes at. Or, if you're like me, you are afraid of upsetting them. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Especially not someone that I have only met once in person-10 years ago. Here are some of my favorite offenders:

1. THE SEX-POT: This is the friend who thinks way more of themselves than anyone else does. You go, girl! This friend constantly posts selfies to the point that if I haven't seen a photo of their abs, ass, or boobs in 48 hours I start to worry if they're lying in a ditch somewhere.

2. THE SILENT STALKER: The friend you forgot about who randomly pops up to scare the shit out of you. As in, holy crap, I forgot you were on Facebook! They creep around people's profiles just to check in, but never post status updates or comment on others' updates. Then one day-BAM!-there they are. My husband is much like this. He only comments (not online, mind you, but when we get home from work) when he thinks I have posted something stupid. Which is almost daily. His FB friends will message me to ask what he's been up to and to tell me that they are trying to send him something and he won't respond. Sorry, people. I can lead a man to Facebook, but I can't make him post.

3. THE VAGUE-BOOKER: Good Lord, these friends drive me crazy! If you don't want people to know what's going on, then don't post "UGH! Some people!" (Who? Friend or family? Stranger? Babby daddy again? Who, dammit!) or "Please pray for me. I can't say why or for how long. Just pray." (For what?! Are you dying or should I just be asking God for you to win the lotto? And in that case, are you gonna share if I help you win?) If you're not going to post all the details don't post at all.

4. THE JESUS FREAK: Where do I start? Maybe with a quote from a bumper sticker I saw the other day. "I don't have a problem with God. It's his fan club I can't stand." I am a Christian, but I try not to beat people over the head with it or annoy them to the point that they want to run away from me when they see me coming. I'm not ashamed of my faith, but sometimes it turns people away from God when you harp on it too much. So, it really irks me when the Jesus Freak gets going on a tirade on Facebook. I just love it when they talk tirelessly about what a great Christian they are and if you don't agree with everything that their preacher/rabbi/Sunday school teacher says, then you are going to Hell. No exceptions. Um, let's let the big guy be the judge of that, mkay? Go ahead and post your favorite scripture and uplifting messages. I'm all for it. Just be nice and don't try to convince every person on your friend list that you are perfect and we'll get along just fine.

5. THE GAMER: Also referred to as "the pusher". If I wanted to play Word Candy Pictionary I would. Please don't ask me over and over again. As it is, my poor little iPhone 3S is tired because between the 3 kids and myself, we have maxed out the memory so that it runs only slightly faster than my old dial-up connection from 1998. Also, if I get addicted to another game my husband may have to institutionalize me.

6. THE CHEF: This is the friend who posts 400 recipes a day. I'm hungry enough without seeing all this delicious, fattening, food on my FB! Quit it! Buy a cookbook. Then you can post as your status update, "Yum! I just bought a great cookbook." The end.

7. THE HATER: This person is never happy. Never. Don't try to convince them otherwise. They.will.delete.you. My favorite is when they post a very strong opinion about something and then refuse to let people comment. "Pork chops are the worst kind of chops ever! They suck and I will never, ever eat them. If you don't agree with this post, then don't bother commenting because I will delete it. This is my Facebook and I can post whatever I want." Oh, get over yourself. When you post something, you are opening yourself to other opinions and much ridicule. If you take FB this seriously, you may need to rethink some things about your life.

Disclaimer: I have, at one point or another, been guilty of each and every one of these. And you have too probably. But don't disagree with me. This is my blog and I can post what I want. :)

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Organized chaos. Ha!

Lately I have been feeling like the most unorganized person in the world. My husband keeps telling me to make lists, but I like to be more spontaneous than that. Also, if I started making lists right after he tells me to, it would appear that I think he's right and I can't have him going around thinking he's righter than me. (Yes, I know righter is not a word but it was funnier that way.)

My poor children have been running around wearing too small clothes with dirty, uncombed hair and have outstanding lunch accounts because their mother is unfit. I can't keep up. I question myself daily if going back to work was the smartest decision I've ever made. Who actually decides that instead of trolling the internets all day eating bon-bons in their pajamas while ignoring their offspring is less fun than getting up REALLY early, rushing around like a madwoman screaming about being late while simultaneously making 4 lunches, tying 6 shoes, pulling the least dirty clothes out the over-full hamper and wrangling the children into them, and trying to make oneself look slightly less bleary-eyed and slightly more professional even though your hair is still sopping wet? I mean, really. Then I remember that I decided that. That was me. Dang it. I'm not as smart as I think I am.

I have been enjoying talking to actual people during the day though. That's a bonus. Plus I get to wear actual clothes. Sweet.

Every other week, my son goes to swim lessons at school. His group is the Sharks. Fitting, no? Every month I get the calendar of events so that I can plan in advance his day to bring snacks and his swim days. I look at the calendar closely and circle his snack and swim days. Then I carefully hang that calendar on the fridge with the other 18,000 random pieces of paper that enter my house daily. Then, THEN, I promptly forget to ever look at that calendar again. Picture a blissful Monday morning(not!) when I happen to glance at the fridge whilst gulping my first of 12 cups of coffee and see that it is my son's turn to bring 24 snacks AND drinks. Frick! Do I have 24 of anything in my pantry? Of course not, because whenever I bring snacks home, my children scarf them all down within the first 12 hours because I guess they think that if they don't eat it all immediately I will take it back to the store. That's also the exact reason why I never keep juice boxes in my house. They barely make it in the door before they are gone. Poof! I will find half-empty boxes of fermented juice sprinkled around the house for the next week, but my kids will complain that there is NOTHING for them to drink. Juice junkies--that's what they are.

Anyway, I can't send my kiddo to school with nothing. The kids in his class will surely starve because the daycare that charges me almost my entire paycheck every month does not provide snacks. So, off to Wal-Mart we go. Me, with my wet hair and him with his breakfast smeared across his face at 7:30 in the morning will argue in the snack aisle about which nut-free, grain-free, dairy-free, but fun! crackers to bring until mommy is just about to lose her schmidt. We will finally grab something that he will insist on carrying at a snail's pace all the way across the store to the one and only open register, which is of course, on the opposite side of the store from which I parked. My son will only drop the juice boxes 14 times while I hiss, "hurry up!" because the only other person in the store has a gigantic cart full of stuff and is headed to MY register. When we actually reach the register, the cashier will be new and also just have gotten to work so we will be forced to wait while she is trained on the proper way to break the coin tubes into her drawer (true story). I will pretend to be a patient person while my son gets distracted by all of the dollar toys and candy placed stragically at the counter by someone who has never had children and repeat the word "no" over and over and over until the trainee cashier is ready to ring me up. $20 and 20 minutes later we emerge from Wal-Mart, snacks in hand, only to realize that we forgot his &(^$#^% bathing suit.

Make a list, you say? Maybe, but don't tell my husband.