Sunday, March 27, 2011

Spring is for the birds

It sounds lovely in my back yard. The birds are chirping and it sounds like spring is here. Until you look outside and see all the snow and the gray skies full of the promise of more snow. The birds love our yard though. The robins and the little blackish ones with long beaks that I do not know the name of in particular. We have a couple of trees in our backyard that have berries on them and the birds come in droves to eat them

I feel sorry for them when they have to tromp through that snow. Don't their little birdie feet get cold?

They sure are pretty though. Every once in a while Buddy the beagle will get up off his duff to go out and chase them into the trees. Once in a while.

Meet Buddy. This is Buddy's favorite activity:

I call this the flop. It's his most-loved postition, and I think he's definitely mastered it. What do you think?

These were all taken on different days, by the way. Sometimes he curls up in a ball:

He spends most of his time in repose on my bed. Can't say I blame him, it is pretty comfy. But on occasion, mainly when the boy-child decides to join the party, Buddy sneaks off to other locations. Katie's bed for instance.

Another of his moves--the cliffhanger:

Nicely done, Buddy! If there was an Olympics of sleeping you would be a gold medalist! There is another pose rarely seen that Buddy attempts sometimes. I call it the Sphinx. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of that one as the postition is intensely difficult. It requires Buddy actually holding his head upright. Gasp! The last time I checked his legs did still wotk, though they are sorely under-used. I really wish he would learn to operate the vacuum because that comforter is dry-clean only and it desperately needs a cleaning. I'm pretty sure it has at least 3 pounds of dog hair on it. Call him dedicated. Call him determined. Just don't call him late for dinner.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Whys Have It!

A common word in my house. Why? Why. WHHHHHYYYYYY?! I hear it all the time. I'm sure everyone with kids does, right? So, I thought I'd make a list of my "Whys". Here we go.

1. Why is it that my children can sleep like the dead until the exact second that I turn of my bedside lamp and burrow under the covers? It's like they have some kind of radar that lets them know when Mom is going to bed. "Wake up! Wake up! Mom is trying to sleep and we can't have that!"

2. Why can't my house stay clean for more than a couple of hours?

3. Why does my son flip the brat switch on the moment we enter a store? He's fine in the car, he's fine in the parking lot, we walk in the door and Bam! He's a tantrum throwing master. I run through the store with the girls trying to keep up behind me while Sam screams the entire time. I check out, I leave (with all eyes watching my back-I can feel them) and we get to the car and he's fine again. I don't get it.

4. Why did I buy light-colored carpet?

5. Why, no matter how much money we make, are we always broke?

6. Why does everyone suddenly HAVE TO HAVE a toy that they haven't looked at in 6 months as soon as someone else picks it up?

7. Why couldn't I have been born with Heidi Klum's body, Tina Turner's legs, Angelina Jolie's face, the brains of Oprah Winfrey and the grace of a ballerina?

8. Why does my husband still think wet willies are funny?

9. Why doesn't my husband think bathroom humor is funny?

10. Why is the left side of my keyboard having trouble responding to my key strokes?

11. Why did God give my kids so much energy and me so little?

12. This one is from Katie: "Mom, why, if God knows everything, do you still have to tell the people at McDonald's if the toy in my Happy Meal is for a girl or a boy?" Aha! I know the answer to this one. "Well, honey, God doesn't work at McDonald's."

13. Why IS bathroom humor so funny?

14. Why do my blog postings always sound better in my head than they do when I write them down?

To be continued. Why? Because I have more. Trust me. And because Pawn Stars is on.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Conversations with my kids

A lot of times a conversation with one of my kiddos starts like this, especially with Sam:

Sam: "Mom. Mommy. Moooommmmy. MOOOOOM-EEEEEEE!!"

Me: "Sam."

Sam: "What?"

Me: *sigh* "What did you need, honey?"

Sam: "Nah-sing." (nothing)

Me: *facepalm*

Here's another example of why I always have a headache:

Katie: "Hey, Mom. How long did you have to wait until you went to Kindergarten?"

Me: "Five years."

Katie: "Nooo, how long?"

Me: "Um, I waited five years."

Katie: "NOOO! I mean, how long did you have to wait?"

Me: "Okaaay, well, I'm not sure I understand the question. I went to Kindergarten when I was five years old."

Katie: "Argh! Mom, you're not listening."

Me: "I'm not?"

Katie: *eye roll* "How long did you have to wait?"

Me: "I guess I don't know."

Here's a convo with Audrey that happens on a pretty regular basis:

Audrey: "Mom, your butt is pretty big. And it jiggles."

Me: "Yep."

A: "Why is it so big?"

Me: "Well, I don't always eat the right things and I don't exercise enough. And I've birthed 3 children."

A: "Why is your belly jiggly too?"

Me: "Same reasons."

A: "What about your arms? They move a lot."

Me: "Don't you have something else to do? Homework? Bossing your brother around? Sticking a fork in your sister's eye? Anything?"

A: "Will my butt be as big as yours? I don't want my butt to be THAT big."

Me: "Keep talking, kid, and you won't live to see your butt get this big."

Recently at church, our new nursery director, Christine, was helping me clean up to go home. I told Sam to tell Christine good-bye. This is what followed:

Sam: "Dat's not Kiss-teen."

Christine: "I am Christine, see?" (holds out her name badge)

Sam: "NOO!! Dat's. Nooooot. KISS-TEEN!!!"

I explained that our neighbor that we hang out with a lot is also named Christine.

Christine: "Well, I know that you have another friend named Christine, but that's my name too."

Sam: "NOOOO!! You're not stupid Kiss-teen."

Me: "Alright, knock it off. She's not stupid. Let's not say that word. Let's go home now."

Sam: "Bye, Stupid."

Imposter Christine: "Um, okay. Bye."

I just mouthed "sorry" and hustled him out of there before the discussion got any uglier.

Yet another reason Mommy drinks in the evenings. :)