Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Toy giveaway update

First thing the next morning, I heard the kitchen stool being scraped across the floor. I looked into the hallway by the front door and there was Audrey peering into the little entryway between the front door and the screen door where I had put the toys. They were still there of course because I did not have the good sense to stash them in the car yet. She immediately broke down into a tantrum of titanic proportions. UGH! Dumb mommy! Of course this woke Katie up who came running to see what the problem was. She went straight for the entryway, saw the toys and started crying too. My goodness! Are my girls always going to be this dramatic? My guess would be yes, given the DNA that they have inherited.

Sunday night I got tricked into a Mary Kay party so I left the kids with their daddy. I was gone almost 2 hours. When I was headed home, I called to let Vince know that I was on my way. He sounded down so I asked him what was the matter. He said that it had been a disaster and he would tell me when I got home. Everything looked fine when I got there. The house was not charred, the girls still had all limbs attached, Sam was asleep on Vince's chest. What was the problem? Sam had a poopy diaper earlier that leaked everywhere and it was gross and Vince had to clean it up. Big whoop! I do that at least 3 times a day! Welcome to my world, husband of mine. Why do men act like baby poop is nuclear waste? This is a man who can gut a deer with bare hands, who arrests unwashed, drunken idiots for a living and a 6-month old's diaper is gonna bring him to his knees? What a wuss! (Kidding, honey! Love you!)

Well, I should get off here and give my wuss a kiss for letting me get out of the house for a couple hours sans kids. Here's another thought to ponder: Why do I have to ask him to babysit his own children? He just tells me when he is going somewhere and assumes that I will watch them. What's up with that?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Toy meltdown

Vince and I thought we were doing a good thing. We decided that the kids could stand to get rid of a few of the toys that are currently covering their bedroom floor. Usually when I do this it is under the cover of darkness and can be likened to smuggling weapons of mass destruction out of the country. This time we were not so smart. We thought the kids might be old enough to understand that there are less fortunate children out there who will not have any toys for Christmas and so it would be GREAT! for us to be Santa's biiiiig helpers and give those kids some of our toys. And also to make room for the new toys that Santa might bring us. Not to mention grandparents. It didn't go so well. Someone outside our house might have thought that our kids were being torn limb from limb by all the moaning and wailing going on. I mean, stupid nonsense toys that have been buried in the toy tub for months are now being treasured like they are the ark of the covenant or something. Some of these are silly McDonald's toys! Geez! Once I got the three toys that they were willing (kinda) to get rid of and put them in boxes, we all said goodbye to them and put them in a safe place for Santa to come and get. Katie started screaming hysterically and Audrey was moaning. We should have broken out the bagpipes because you'd have thought someone died. After they were tucked in and asleep, I snuck in and smuggled out some more. Just wait until they wake up and begin their inventory. I'm sure that we'll have to deal with much more wailing. I suggested to Audrey that we take their play kitchen since it takes up lots of space (even though it's a small, cheap one) and Katie is the only one that ever plays with it. Audrey ran over there and hugged it and said, "But I was going to play with it tomorrow!" Yeah, right. Their room is so messy right now. Kinda like the rest of my house. Katie got home from church and went to her room to play. When I checked on her because she was being so quiet, I found her asleep on the floor. I had to take a picture because I literally had a hard time finding her on the floor of their room. It's like "Where's Waldo?"! I'm gonna put that picture up here so you can see that I'm not exaggerating. This is why we need to get rid of some toys! Mom, this post is for you--don't go crazy with the toys this year! Get them a college fund or something! *kisses*

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hi there!

Well, hello again! I'm here somewhere. We went home to visit and I really don't have access to a computer much when I'm out and about. I really missed my blog though. I was like a crack addict (or a candy addict) having withdrawals. I kept thinking about what I was going to write when I got home and about all the funny things that I have to report. I was worried about my "peeps" too. Where would you all go for your daily dose of crazy? Well, wonder no more because I'm back in business! Of course I can't remember many of those funny things that I was going to blog about 'cause I have slept since then. And I have children.

We had a nice time visiting. It was a whirlwind trip. Vince was teaching a class and we just tagged along with him, so we didn't get to see many friends. Mainly just hung out with the fam. But when we come home for Christmas we should be able to see more people. Sometimes when we go back home, it's like we're celebrities or something. Everyone wants a piece of us. We went to a high-school football game in Vince's home town and they announced his presence! Funny. It's a long trip down there I tell ya that. Three kids in the car for 14 hours is just about too much. Poor Sam decided on the way home that he'd had enough. I nursed him when we stopped, but he started screaming on the road so we stopped on the side of the highway to let him nurse again to see if he would fall asleep. He ate for about 15 minutes. We put him back in his seat and he started screaming again. We tried to let him cry until he fell asleep, but an hour later when our heads were ready to explode from all the noise between him crying and the girls playing and watching a movie, we decided that I would switch places with Audrey and try to sooth him. He wanted nothing to do with me until I broke out the baby food. By the last bite, he was half asleep. Apparently we had been starving the child. The good news is we made it there and back in one piece and we didn't have to make good on our promise to strap any unruly children to the top of the vehicle.

Geez, did I eat while I was there. Vince's mom always buys tons of food and I try my best to eat it all. Honey buns and sweet rolls for breakfast, chips and guacamole to snack on...it's no wonder I look fat in the pictures we took! His dad always says he likes it when company comes because there's food in the house and Mom cooks! Since we've been back I've had to hit the gym. I'm going to boot camp 4 times a week now and squeezing in my other classes sometimes too. I have also been volunteering in the drop-in nursery there so that we can get our membership for free. We go Thursdays from 8am to 1pm. It's very tiring because I have my 3 in there as well as everyone else's kids. I'm not by myself of course, but it can get pretty busy in there. I don't think I could work there and do that every day all day. I have enough trouble not beating my own children and I birthed them! Today we were getting ready to leave and I was packing up all my stuff and gonna go run and get the car since we have to park at least 4 blocks away when I looked over and realized that Katie had climbed into one of the beds and gone to sleep! Great. She got almost 20 minutes by the time I got the car, loaded the other 2 in and came back to get her. Then of course she wouldn't lay down when we got home. I guess 20 minutes was enough for her. Not for me. She has been cranky all night. She was pretty funny at Grandma and Grandpa's house. They were naked, running in circles around the living room and Katie had one of her Daddy's hats on. She would tip the hat and say, "Howdy, partner." It was just hilarious coming from a little streaker like that. She never broke her stride.

Since it has gotten cold here I have had to unpack all the winter stuff and try to find stuff for Sam. I discovered a big box of boy clothes that I had forgotten about. I put it in the back of the closet when a friend gave us the stuff because it was 12+ month stuff. Well, he can wear most of it now. I swear this kid has more clothes than Mariah Carey. He could wear a different outfit every day for a month I bet. I'm not complaining though. Most of his clothes are hand-me-downs or borrowed from friends so I didn't have to shell out any money for his wardrobe. That's awesome.

Here I am blogging as if my life depended on it while my house lays in ruins. This place looks like a tornado blew through here. Vince came in this afternoon and told me he's been in crack houses that looked better. We were too big for this house when we bought it and we have just kept on growing. I literally have no room for lots of stuff. There are things just sitting in corners and on my counters because we have no more room to put it. It's so frustrating. I can hardly walk in here sometimes. It doesn't help that I am the world's worst housekeeper. I would rather just leave so I don't have to look at it than be here and have to see it or worse yet, actually clean it. It's a vicious cycle. The dirtier it gets, the less I want to clean because it looks insurmountable. I don't even know where to start. That's why I like that show "Clean Sweep" because it makes me feel better about my own house. There's always some place worse than this.

Speaking of dirty, I was just informed that there is a poopy diaper that needs to be changed. I guess that's my cue. Lucky me.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Just got back from Boot Camp. My arms are noodles. I will try to type the best I can. We had another blizzard recently. If you all recall, we survived our first one back in May. This one was worse. Winds up to 80 MPH. They closed the interstate for 2 days. The paper reported that there were around 200 cars stranded on I-90 from Mitchell, SD to the Wyoming border. Since things have cleared up a lot today, they are sending out rescue crews to see if there are any people still stranded. It's ridiculous. I told my mom that I was going to be on the next train out of here since the airport was closed. We had drifts in our yard and driveway up to my knees. At our house we got about a foot, but up in Deadwood, they got about 48 inches. Man am I glad that I live here in Rapid and not in the Northern Hills. I got to go out and shovel the sidewalk and driveway after I got the kids in bed and it had stopped snowing. That's a workout I tell ya. Took me forever. Audrey and Katie went and played in it and only lasted 15 minutes. Then last night they went out and played for a long time. Audrey was disappointed that the snow was starting to melt. Katie played until after dark and we had to make her come in. She was making snow angels. I really want to go out and make a snowman. They'd get a kick out of that. But what to do with the little man? I can't really keep him out there and I don't want to leave him in the house where I can't hear him. I should get a picture of him with his first snow. People were out in full force today. I guess they were tired of being cooped up in the house for 2 days.

Sam is really starting to dig this whole eating thing. He's a hungry boy. Ate 6 jars of food the other day. I made him a ton of food a couple days ago. Sweet potatoes and some butternut squash. I had already made some applesauce in the fall and still have some carrots and peas to cook up. That should hold him for at least a week! He's figured out that he can make "raspberry" noises and is wanting to crawl. He puts his knees up under his body and rocks, but hasn't yet developed the arm strength to get up and do a crawl. Last night he was laying in bed with Vince and just talking away. Looking at the wall and just squealing and talking to no one. Just testing out his vocal cords I suppose. It's so cute when they do that. Speaking of cute, Katie was singing again last night. She says the funniest stuff. It's just words all strung together to no particular tune, but she really gets into it. I have her on tape. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't hold the camera still. She loves music and dancing. I have a feeling that she may be our resident athlete. Sometimes when we go for walks, she asks if she can run. She runs the entire time and it's not like she's just going in a straight line either. She runs up ahead and then comes back to us and then repeats this over and over. She's not even winded. I would be dying! She also can catch a ball really well (for a 2 year old) and likes to throw the football back and forth with her daddy. Audrey barely suffered through soccer. That's okay because she's our artist. Right now she's making a book. It's funny. "Blue's Clues Book About Learning for Children." She brings me a picture and then tells me what to write for the illustration. She was very disappointed that school was canceled yesterday. She hasn't missed any yet, but when we go to Oklahoma next week, she will and she was mad when we told her. She really likes it. She has a boyfriend. His name is Lukas. They had their school pictures last Wed. and I didn't drive this trip. Lukas's mom was there and she e-mailed me after to tell me how cute they were. She said that Lukas has never mentioned Audrey as his girlfriend before, but when the photographer asked him if he had a girlfriend, he got really quiet and then blushed and said Audrey. She said that they were adorable together. I'm not sure what to think of this whole thing. It's cute, but on the other hand...

Here's an update on my mom's skull that they found. The next day, the rangers came and they went out to see if they could find the same place again. They didn't, but apparently they got close because they found more bones and come clothing. They think it's a female judging from the size of the bones and they are dating this back to the 1980's due to some other clues they found that I probably should not blog about. Vince's friend Mike is on the case too. It's a real on-going investigation and I can't wait to see how it pans out. Maybe my mom will be on Dateline or 20/20 or something. Cool. But the coolest thing is that maybe these bones will bring someone closure and they will know for sure what happened to their loved one instead of wondering what happened.

It's lunchtime and judging by the crankiness level in my house, it's also nap time. Maybe once they lay down I can actually go to the bathroom by myself. Wouldn't that be nice? I won't hold my breath. I haven't had privacy in the bathroom since 2003. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Hello, my name is Nicole and I am a candy addict. (Hello, Nicole). I simply cannot stay out of the Halloween candy. My lifelong motto that I learned from my father is "if it's there, eat it." It's really an issue. I have been doing so well and have lost at least 1 pant size since starting at the YMCA and here I am eating myself into a chocolate coma. I keep telling myself that it's better for the children if I eat the candy instead of them. Right? I just want it gone so that there is nothing there to eat! Someone should save me from myself.

If there is anyone out there who is still debating whether boys and girls are different from birth, or if it's their environment that makes them behave differently, I am here to set things straight. My son is all boy already at 5 months. Know how I know? Because when I change his diaper, he is in the habit of grabbing hold of his junk and hanging on for dear life until I wrench it from his hands to put a clean diaper on. Seriously. He's already practicing the time-honored male rituals of re-adjusting and hanging onto it just in case it falls off. And he does it all with a smile on his face. Men! (insert eye-roll here) It's definitely genetic.

Katie has recently been waking in the middle of the night crying or moaning or calling for one of us. I don't know if it's nightmares or what, but I feel sorry for her. Most of the time when I respond, she is already back asleep or almost there and I just rub her back or hair for a minute and she's fine. She does this most nights and sometimes several times a night. Last night, when I went to her, she was kinda awake and said to me, "I just don't believe it", which is one of her catch phrases. I just laughed and went back to bed. The second time she told me, "Mom, I don't love you right now." No laughing this time. I don't know where she got that, but it's really annoying. I know she doesn't mean it, especially when she's half awake, but it still gets me. Maybe she says it because she knows where the Halloween candy is going. Then this afternoon she told me that Sam couldn't have any candy because he could only eat "cereal and carrots and your fingers." LOL! She's so hilarious sometimes. And the delivery is the best. With her little face and mis-pronounced words.

Well, I should get off of here and start supper. There's not much in the cabinets. I'm gonna have to make something up on the fly. I'm thinking fried Snickers and twice-baked Milk Duds with a side of Whoppers and some Dum-Dums for dessert.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Halloween fun

The girls had a great time for Halloween. Of course I'm a little biased, but I think they were the cutest kids out there. We met up with some friends at a local church and did the Fall Festival thing. Our little friend Jake was Wubbzy and his little sister was Daisy from the show Wow, Wow Wubbzy. All the moms out there know who I'm talking about. It's Jake's fave show. They were so cute! And his mom dressed up too. She figured that since Jake always refers to her as Widget instead of Mommy, she should go as Widget. Too funny. This is the friend named Heidi that Audrey always calls Tiny. She is pretty little, but I think the moniker came from Audrey not understanding what I was saying. Anyway, after the church scene, where we picked up approximately 80 pounds of candy and 13 stuffed animals, we headed out to pick up some loot from our neighbors. We have some really nice people that live next door. They are the same age as my parents and have grandkids the same age, but they live far away. So, they call themselves Grandpa Jim and Grandma Sherri and spoil our kids rotten. Whenever I can't find Audrey, I head next door to find her snuggled up next to Jim in the chair or hanging outside with Sherri in her garden. They think I'm a good mom, and I don't want to spoil the illusion for them, so I play the game. But behind closed doors...I'm kidding! So, after that we went to our other friend's house on the other side of town. Katie and Sam both fell asleep on the way there, but Audrey stole enough candy from Rich and Carol for 50 kids, so we're covered. Rich and Carol just had twins last week. Hadie and Livia. They were 6 lbs. ?oz. and 7lbs. 11 oz.! Livia is still in the NICU because her lungs aren't developed yet and she needs a little more time. She'll probably get to come home today or tomorrow. They are so tiny! I can't remember mine being that little. It's amazing how quickly they grow. Of course Sam was never that little and at 5 months is wearing 12 month clothes. The little toot ate 6 jars of baby food yesterday afternoon! I couldn't believe it. He probably would have eaten more, but I stopped feeding him after his 6th jar. I was afraid he would explode. He's only been eating solids for about 2 weeks now. His diapers are way less explosive, just in case you were wondering! Well, except for the one yesterday. But the dogs helped clean that one up. LOL! You guys should know by now that no subject is too gross or embarrassing for me to talk about. Sorry.

Speaking of topics that no one likes to talk about--I used to get upset about my boobs being closer to the floor after 3 children, but I'm learning that it's not all bad. At least at night when I'm feeding Sam and doze off, I don't have to worry about trying to hold him up to my chest. I can set him on my lap and still feed him. Yay for gravity! I'm going to apologize right now to my father-in-law in case he reads this blog. Sorry Sam!

My mom called (well, texted. I never really TALK to anyone in my family anymore) yesterday afternoon to tell me that she and some friends who are on a trail ride in Oklahoma found a human skull while riding. They looked around for any other bones, but that was all they found. The park rangers are coming in this morning to look at it and try to figure out where they found it (they were lost in the woods at the time) and determine where it came from and all that. How cool is that? She's getting irritated because they are going to have to spend the day today dealing with it and she needs to get home and get the horses put up and get ready for work tomorrow. I told her she should have left it on the ranger's front steps with a note. I was kidding of course. My hubby used to be an Oklahoma Park Ranger. That would be very irresponsible of me to suggest that. ;) I told Vince I hoped that it would bring someone closure. It's probably a hundred year old Indian grave or something. But it could be a missing person.

Vince and I have been laughing recently at some of the Indian names that we see in the paper. We live very close to several reservations and so much of the population here is Native American. Not to make light of them or their heritage, but some of the names are truly unfortunate. A lady in the paper today was named Scabby Face. Another was Wolfguts. Crooked Eyes. One Skunk. It makes you wonder how their ancestors got those names. Interesting. Moving on before I offend someone...

I didn't make it to Boot Camp yesterday since Katie slept until past 9 and it starts at 9. I really needed that class this week since I have probably eaten 50 of the 80 pounds of candy and the leftover cookies from Audrey's party. UGH! My husband came up with a brilliant solution. Just wake her up! Uh, hellllooo?! Has he never heard the first rule of parenting? Never, never wake a sleeping baby! It's easy for him to suggest since he will leave for the day and leave me trapped in this 1200 square foot crazy house with a tired, cranky 2 yr-old and her partners in crime. He has lots of great parenting advice. Like when one of the kids gets into something they shouldn't be into and makes a mess and I gripe about having to clean it up. I should just watch them better. LOL! I admit that sometimes I should know more about what my kids are doing at all times, but as anyone who has ever attempted to simultaneously not burn dinner, feed a screaming baby, set the table, break up sibling fights, talk on the phone, answer the door, pay bills, etc. knows--it's not that simple! Often I welcome the quiet until I realize it probably means that one of my children is enticing the other one to ingest bubble bath or something equally non-edible.

With that in mind, I leave you now to check on the kids. I heard the words "marker" and "mommy's carpet" mentioned in the same sentence a minute ago. Be afraid, be very afraid.