Keeping track

This is a partial list of the things that I keep track of on a daily basis:

1. Daily schedules for everyone in my family, including the dogs. Who has doctor/dentist appointments, who has plans/playdates, what hours is Vince working, what time are these events occurring, what's happening at school/dance/church/MOPS/YMCA and do I have to bring anything?

2. The whereabouts of every single object in this house and the surrounding area at any given moment. For example: "Mom, where's the 1/4" long pink high-heeled Barbie shoe that I haven't played with in at least 6 months?"

3. The whereabouts of each child every minute of every day.

4. Family information, such as my children's birth info, my parents and siblings birthdays, his parents and siblings birthdays, the birthdate for our nieces, nephews and special friends, which cousin is getting married and the date/location, who is pregnant and how far along they are, etc.

5. The medical histories of my husband, children, and each of our extended families.

6. Who is on Facebook and what they are doing today.

7. What everyone within a 1,000 mile radius is getting for Christmas from us.

8. What's for dinner tonight, tomorrow and the rest of this week?

9. When is the car due for an oil change, how much money is in the bank and when is the next payday, when is the next sale on hamburger at Safeway, who has the cheapest gas in town, do the kids need new shoes, and so on.

Like I said, this is a partial list.

This is what my husband keeps track of on a daily basis:

1. How often we do (or do not) have sex.