Need to lighten things up a bit

Today I feel the need to laugh. So, I thought I would share some funny things that the kids have said or done lately.

Vince and I have been thinking about what to get the kids for Christmas, particularly the girls since their room is already stuffed full of toys. I have been wanting to get a trampoline for a while, but we move so much that it's just not practical right now. So, I was thinking about a bounce house (that could come in or go out and folds up nicely) or a playhouse. I asked the girls which one they would rather have and of course they said both. I explained that we didn't have the money to get both, so they would have to choose. Audrey shrugged at me and said, "Just go to Wal-Mart so we can get both. Save money, live better." Who says advertising doesn't work?

Then a few days later Katie was telling Audrey to do something and Audrey goes, "I'll take that under advisement Katie."

Poor Katie has been having to wake up earlier than normal so that we can take Audrey to school. This kid requires more sleep than my other two so I always try to let her sleep the longest. One morning, she was getting up but I could tell that she was still half asleep. She looked at me all sleepy-eyed and serious and said, "Mom, why can't tonight be tomorrow?" HUH? She kept looking at me like she was expecting an answer, so I said, "Um, well, because that's they way God wanted it." That's my one-size-fits-all answer to really tough questions. Works like a charm.

This morning was a pretty rough morning for all of us. I know what my problem was, but the kids all went to bed early last night so I'm not sure what the deal was with them. After we dropped a VERY upset Audrey at school today, Katie came home and curled up in a clothes basket with a pillow and blanket and fell asleep. It was cute. Here's the picture.Well, I know part of Audrey's problem was that Sam puked on her right before we left for school. I would be upset too. The other issue had something to do with a stuffed animal that she wanted in the car with her. I don't know. I refuse to acknowledge those ridiculous tantrums.

On Saturday night Audrey went to stay with a friend and Katie was upset that she didn't get to go too, so I declared it Katie night. I told her we would go grab something to eat and go to the park. She chose Chuck E. Cheese. Dang it. Since we hadn't been there in a while and I did tell her to pick whatever she wanted, I dragged my skanky, t-shirt and Croc wearing, crazy-haired self and 2 white-trash looking kids out to CEC. It's nice that I can take a book and keep only one eye on the kids because I know they can't escape, but really? Why is that place fun? It is the only restaurant I know that can mess up a hot dog. Are hot dogs that hard? Why are they always burnt on the outside and cold on the inside and served on a stale bun? I realize that I'm ONLY paying $5 for this crappy hot dog, but c'mon. Katie had a good time and that's all that matters I guess. Sam even had fun crawling around and ignoring his $5 crappy hot dog. You know it's bad when Sam won't eat it! And, of course we ran into people we know. I never run into someone I know unless I'm not wearing make-up and I have 3 giant zits that are ready to be popped and my hair is so frizzy that no amount of hair spray is going to rein it in. And I have on my Crocs that I usually only wear in the yard or in the car. And a ginormous t-shirt with stains on it. My bad luck is going to become legendary if this keeps up! Audrey was mad when she found out that Katie got to go without her and insists that I take her as well. Sorry, sister! I've had all the Chuck E. Cheese I can stand for a while. But ain't she cute?

Ranger is doing better I think. He better be because I'm pretty sure I spent more money on him at the vet in this one trip than I have ever spent on the other dogs in their entire lives. Turns out he had an abcessed tooth that had spread into his sinuses. Did I spell abcess wrong? Who cares. Anyhow, they had to do dental surgery and pull 4 teeth and do some other dental stuff and keep him overnight. It actually cost less than they quoted me to begin with, but when they get into the hundreds of dollars, does a $30 savings really matter? I can tell you for a fact that it does not. Stupid dogs. I almost asked how much it would cost to put him down instead, but I didn't think the people that work in a veterinarian's office would appreciate my attempts at humor. I'm so over dog ownership at this point. I have had dogs all my life and have never brushed their teeth nor have any of them ever, ever had to have dental work done. Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh! Give me a moment to cool down and breathe...(insert elevator music here).

Sorry. I get a little worked up. Time for a shout out. This is for my girl Heidi who definitely knows the way to my heart! She knows all about my run of bad luck because she has had to listen to my rantings ad nauseam and has, I'm sure, suffered through the same stories over and over and over again. She left donuts on my doorstep this morning. Bless you, Heidi. I am happy to report that they are all gone already and I have no remorse. Okay, I did share one with the girls. But I ate the rest with abandon--and glee I might add. They were so good! So, thanks. Love ya and thanks for listening.

For the rest of you, I really appreciate all the well-wishes and prayers that have been sent my way. I have a super, awesome, lovely group of friends and family who put up with me on a daily basis (I don't ask why because I'm afraid you guys will stop to think about it and decide I'm too much work) and I just want you to know that even though 99% of the time I am a selfish, flaky, forgetful person, I do love you back and wish I could repay all your kindnesses and then some.

Goodnight.